Your Point Of View - With An Open Mind
By ZARAH WALPOLE
In grade 6, I participated in a public speaking
competition with a five minute speech entitled "The
Power of Persuasion". Details of the speech are now
hazy but I do recall suggesting that blackmail was an effective
way to convince others to do what you want. Ironically,
I also emphasized the persuasive power of humour - in a
speech that, I now recall, was extremely earnest and totally
devoid of laughs. It is perhaps no surprise that the winner's
topic was "Accidentally Eating Dog Food".
But life comes full circle and I've been thinking about
the power of persuasion again. How do you persuade another
to your point of view? I don't have any foolproof answers
- negotiation is as much art as science - but I think I've
gained some insight into the subject since public school.
In this, the first of a two part series discussing persuasiveness
in negotiations, I discuss the important role "understanding"
(rather than blackmail) can play in increasing your effectiveness
in convincing others of the legitimacy of your point of
view.
There are some basics to effective persuasion that may
seem obvious but are often overlooked. "Doing your
homework" is essential. It is vital that you understand
your goals, consider what will help improve the situation,
and recognize your strengths and weaknesses. It is equally
important to have a realistic understanding of your options
if your negotiation is unsuccessful. It is much easier to
be persuasive if you have an appealing alternative plan
in your back pocket.
More difficult, but also key, is to understand where the
other side is coming from. Recognize that they may have
a different understanding of the facts, have emotions that
need to be recognized and validated, and have legitimate
values that may differ from yours. Especially in an acrimonious
dispute, it can feel like a betrayal of your position to
see things from the "opposition's" point of view.
You have to decide what is more important - maintaining
an internal sense of righteousness or effectively helping
the other side understand and accept what is important to
you.
I used to think that "the power of persuasion"
was all about rhetorical flourishes, and effective "techniques".
Now I see persuasion as a much simpler, yet more difficult
task. It is about understanding - understanding your own
needs, understanding what you will do if the negotiation
is unsuccessful, understanding the other side's needs and
alternatives, and then, helping them understand, too.
My grade 6 speech did get one thing right though: humour
really can lighten the mood and make it easier to be convincing
and persuasive. Some things don't change. I still tend to
be overly serious, and as this article demonstrates, I'm
not yet good at getting laughs - but I'm working on it.
Two men walked into a bar - which is strange because you
would think the second one would have seen it.
<-Back
The above is not intended to constitute
legal advice. Please contact a lawyer to clarify your
legal rights.
